A desk, a chair, a window and a bunch of dreams......

I walked into the room we now use for our "office," and looked at the small desk and out the window. Outside of our window is a modest and flat yard framed by forest.  You can barely see the homes that are closest to us, and it gives us privacy and peacefulness for the most part.  When we moved to this new home, we decided to get rid of our larger pieces of furniture and that included a large wrap around executive desk.  I found a much smaller standard wooden desk and it fits my needs. I sat quietly for a few minutes and began to day dream.  This new desk reminded me of when I was about 13 or 14 years of age.  When my dad retired from the military, he rented a farm house in the country. He gave us an old and roomy desk so we had something to use for our home work.  We had positioned the desk right in front of the window overlooking a large crop field which eventually met up with the tree line of a dense forest.   I used to have so many dreams as a young girl.  To share a few, a crush on a boy from our church, and entertained a couple of others from school.  Nothing ever came of those hidden romances because I was too shy to let them know that I was interested.  I dreamed of one day traveling and taking pictures of the world, and having them posted to some important magazine.  Write stories and books, teach, be a marine biologist, a wife and mother, get up on stage and sing...a bunch of different dreams.  I wanted a home and had my wedding all planned out in my head.  I could see my 'dream' home and all my plans made.  I wrote about them, thought about them, and drew pictures of them, too.  So many dreams that began with me sitting at a desk and staring off at a crop field, while the farmers plowed and harvested.  Hoping some of those dreams would come true for me some day.

Of course my dreams changed as I grew older, and hopefully wiser.  The young man I had such a huge crush on during that time, eventually broke my heart when he took up with my best friend.  I got over it, especially after he made a pass at my sister.  Yes, he was not for me.  My career did not exactly turn out as planned either, but I do write...a lot, lol.  I had one poem shared in a church bulletin, but I found all the attention a bit overwhelming.  I could not imagine being a famous book author and being under a microscope of the public eye.  Pictures, not so much and none of them have been published.  Although, I have been asked a time or two about whether I'd be interested in some of my scene photos being published.

Sitting at this desk today made me feel a bit peaceful, but also a bit sad with the realization I am beginning to move into a new season in life.  I have been blessed to love, to have a family, to have a nice home, a challenging and rewarding career....but someday I would love to get more involved with my creative side.  After retirement, become an expert with my complicated camera.  Learn how to quilt.  Write that book and even if I have to pay for it to be published, do it.  My bucket list of dreams, which may not all get fulfilled but do my best to make them happen.  Today though...I think I will just push away from the desk and day dream a bit.