Frustrationnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievious words stir up anger. ~ Proverbs 15:1"

Over the last few days, I have been challenged by a couple people.  One of them in particular's actions and perhaps inaction on an assignment frustrated me to a point yesterday where I actually even shut my office door to put some space between us.  I felt my blood pressure rising and I knew I was about to lose my cool with her.  Some may not agree with my handling of it, but in my experience I have found that putting space between people is not always a bad response to frustration. Just a longer ole count to ten practice put into play in order to avoid saying things which will hold regret for later.

I talked it out with the boss before I departed, and later with the husband.  I slept very well and all that frustration has melted away.  I knew yesterday I was getting to such a point of frustration where I would raise my voice and really let her have it, but God's word holds truth that "a soft answer turneth away wrath..."  The point of discussing the past few days with her is not to make her angry, but to help turn her performance around towards a positive.  Oh, I could and some would say be well within my right, but would it really make her any more productive?

Today, I am praying for wisdom in the handling of this situation and I am thankful for God's word and grace to show me how to go about it.

One More Night with the Frogs....

In reading the scripture today, I Corinthians 12:31 says, "But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way."

As a young girl, I remember attending church services with my mom.  During that time, the church would invite people in ministry to come to our church and share the gospel and sometimes they would also sing.  One such visit included a gentleman that would share bible stories in song.  He played the guitar beautifully, and I always looked forward to hearing him sing.  One song in particular made all of us giggle.  The song took us back to the time of Moses, when Moses was beseeching Pharaoh to release the Israelites from slavery.  Pharoah was not willing to listen, and as a result God sent plagues to the lands.  One of the plagues included a pestilence of frogs.  Pharaoh in his infinite "non-wisdom" decided to wait it out overnight and have Moses come back for an answer the next day.  Really?  You want to live one more day with a bunch of frogs?  Ewww!  How crazy is that???

God was trying to tell Pharaoh there was a better way, a more excellent way but he chose to not listen.  It eventually cost Pharaoh his life.

For myself, there have been times where I made a poor decision.  It made the road going forward very difficult, and sometimes carried with it great regret and pain.  Had I stayed on course and been obedient to God's word, I could have been spared the consequences of my actions.  God tried to direct me towards a more excellent way, but I had deafened my heart and ears to what His word says.  I tried to manage things on my own, to take short cuts....to negotiate.....to do it my way....and I failed, but had I listened....

God is not trying to take all the fun out of our lives, but we need to remember that He sees and knows what we do not.  He sees the big picture.  He is trying to direct us towards a more "excellent way" that will overshadow any "moment" we envision would be better suited for us.  If we would seek God's will in our lives, today's verse tells me He will guide us into a more excellent way!  So, I am going to forget the frogs in my life...I don't want them, not for one day.  I am going to follow God and His plan for me.  I may not experience it immediately, but I am going to have faith because God's word speaks the truth.  Therefore, I pray that God's word will live in me and show me the more excellent way!

The Word for Today....Abase

To be honest, I did not know what the word "Abase" meant.  My imagination got the best of me, as I pondered what this word could mean.  I began to imagine someone with a lot of errr Southern charm and drawl trying to explain it to me..... "Hey there!  Abase?  Well you know that's an easy one!  Listen to me....it is like his youngin hit that ball and he ran around A Base."  Well maybe it is early but it did make me smile just thinking about it.

The reason I came across this word is not by accident or some event that occurred in my life.  I left my study bible at work and wanted to read the bible, but where to start?  It is a big book with a wealth of information between its covers.  So, I chose to go to the concordance and chose the first word, which happened to be "Abase."  The following scriptures were provided:

"He who exalts himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted. Matthew 23:12"

"I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound; every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. Philippians 4:12"

I have had my own share of ups and downs in my life time.  I have a very challenging career.  I enjoy my work because I find that I never have the same day twice.  There is always a new goal, a problem to conquer, challenges to face and oh yes, a whole lot of success wrapped up in it, too.  I am a paper pusher, but the papers each day hold something new.  I have had some great moments in my career, and failure, too.  Those times of failure remind me to never get too big for my britches, because the things that allowed me positive recognition by my peers and upper management can be taken away in a nanosecond.  It was never intentional to fail, but things happen or a poor decision made and it all came crumbling down.  It is humbling.  It hurts. However, I am adult enough to understand that business is business and it is not personal when I am taken to task for something that did not get completed or did not go to plan.  I may not have always agreed with the way it was presented or the fact I seemed to be standing there all by myself when others were involved in it too, but there's a challenge in itself.  Do not look around you, take responsibility for your actions and just try to improve and correct what is needed.  My father shared with me one day, "Never forget where you started."  I did not understand his words right away, but later it became clear to me.  In reading the scripture today, I don't think God wants to see us brought down.  It is never easy when placed in such a situation.  It also makes me appreciate those times when my team is recognized for our success stories.  There are varying reasons why we find ourselves being "abased" in life.  How do we react to it?  Do we try to blame those around us? Do we hold ourselves accountable?  How can we make sure we do not repeat the mistakes made?  Be thankful and realize we are so blessed, and to not allow lofty pride to be our foundation, but rather grace and humility.

A desk, a chair, a window and a bunch of dreams......

I walked into the room we now use for our "office," and looked at the small desk and out the window. Outside of our window is a modest and flat yard framed by forest.  You can barely see the homes that are closest to us, and it gives us privacy and peacefulness for the most part.  When we moved to this new home, we decided to get rid of our larger pieces of furniture and that included a large wrap around executive desk.  I found a much smaller standard wooden desk and it fits my needs. I sat quietly for a few minutes and began to day dream.  This new desk reminded me of when I was about 13 or 14 years of age.  When my dad retired from the military, he rented a farm house in the country. He gave us an old and roomy desk so we had something to use for our home work.  We had positioned the desk right in front of the window overlooking a large crop field which eventually met up with the tree line of a dense forest.   I used to have so many dreams as a young girl.  To share a few, a crush on a boy from our church, and entertained a couple of others from school.  Nothing ever came of those hidden romances because I was too shy to let them know that I was interested.  I dreamed of one day traveling and taking pictures of the world, and having them posted to some important magazine.  Write stories and books, teach, be a marine biologist, a wife and mother, get up on stage and sing...a bunch of different dreams.  I wanted a home and had my wedding all planned out in my head.  I could see my 'dream' home and all my plans made.  I wrote about them, thought about them, and drew pictures of them, too.  So many dreams that began with me sitting at a desk and staring off at a crop field, while the farmers plowed and harvested.  Hoping some of those dreams would come true for me some day.

Of course my dreams changed as I grew older, and hopefully wiser.  The young man I had such a huge crush on during that time, eventually broke my heart when he took up with my best friend.  I got over it, especially after he made a pass at my sister.  Yes, he was not for me.  My career did not exactly turn out as planned either, but I do write...a lot, lol.  I had one poem shared in a church bulletin, but I found all the attention a bit overwhelming.  I could not imagine being a famous book author and being under a microscope of the public eye.  Pictures, not so much and none of them have been published.  Although, I have been asked a time or two about whether I'd be interested in some of my scene photos being published.

Sitting at this desk today made me feel a bit peaceful, but also a bit sad with the realization I am beginning to move into a new season in life.  I have been blessed to love, to have a family, to have a nice home, a challenging and rewarding career....but someday I would love to get more involved with my creative side.  After retirement, become an expert with my complicated camera.  Learn how to quilt.  Write that book and even if I have to pay for it to be published, do it.  My bucket list of dreams, which may not all get fulfilled but do my best to make them happen.  Today though...I think I will just push away from the desk and day dream a bit.