My Mouth....The Rudder

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

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I grew up as a "Navy" brat, and one would think I might know something about boats....errr, I mean ships.  Unfortunately, no.  I also do not have the greatest of sea legs, which has been a dilemma for the husband who would love to go on a cruise with me.  Recently, I remember watching a commercial of a ship at sea....the waves crashed and caused the massive ship to be tossed and pitched like it was a toy boat, as it continued on its path.  Each wave seemed to elevate the vessel to such great heights, only to crash down to a point where one would think it might truly be engulfed by the sea's waves and experience destruction.  Each vessel has a rudder that offers surface control as it makes it way through the waters.  However, without power from within ... the outside forces may overcome best intentions and the vessel will sink.  

It has been very stressful at work.  It is easy to get caught up in running our mouths and being critical of one another.  Replacing blame or having no patience, and gossiping about one another.  A colleague was sharing sage advice about one of our employees that it is not always the content of the message this person is sharing, but how it is presented.  If it is presented in the wrong way, the other person will stop listening.   Hurt feelings or anger will get in the way and it will not result in a productive moment.   Coming off too harsh, or critical.   There is being direct, but then there is using your tongue like a sword that pierces the heart of the receiver, and leaves a wound.  Too many of those moments, and the relationship will never have a chance to thrive.  It may also leave the receiver imprisoned by the hurtful words, they are unable to rise above and be productive.  I felt that not so long ago.....and at the time, the words seemed harsh and unfair.  I walked away feeling defeated and wanted to quit.  I got angry.  I got sad.  Then I took a step back and I prayed and I am still praying to try and work through what happened.  In truth, it was a teaching moment though on what I never want to do to someone else, but had I ever been like this person though?  Had I lost my balance, like the ship that despite having a rudder having no control after a certain point?  

In order to have a positive effect with others, I need to make sure the power I have within is tempered with grace, and that I am prayed and read up with God's word.  To control the tongue, so that instead of destroying...it will result in being a collaborative and productive moment.  I have said this to  my own children that we need to be about the business of lifting one another up, and less about tearing each other down.  To exert patience, so that your rudder (mouth) leads you in a safe direction, and not to destruction.

Today, I am praying that I will be an effective leader and will bring balance and patience in my communications with others.  I want my Team to soar, not to fall.  I think a lot of each one of them and know they have what it takes to do great things.  Now to put that into action and it starts with my rudder and the power behind it.  I pray that God will be that power and they will see more of Him and less of me.

Missed Opportunities

Isaiah 25:1
O LORD, You are my God; I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name; For You have worked wonders. Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness.

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As I sat listening to a friend share her experiences with dating two very different men, a thought came to me that should she engage in a serious relationship with either of them....well one of them appeared to be "turn key" and the other needed work.

I grabbed that term from a host of home improvement shows I had drowned myself in over the previous weekend.  Our conversation reminded me of when my husband and I first stepped into our new "turn key" home.  It was a new construction.  It was beautiful! It was clean! No one had lived there before, as we settled our belongings into this new space.  It was perfect! Screech..........ummm, or was it? 

The very first night, my daughter was cleaning her bathroom and used the cleaning wipes to scrub everything down and then promptly flushed it down the toilet...well almost.  A horrible smell developed that filtered all the way upstairs to our Master bedroom.  A plumber was called in on emergency, and he was able to extricate the offensive paper that had clogged the system.  We all learned what not to do when dealing with a septic pump system.  

The next event was on a much smaller scale, but nonetheless, terrified me.  We had just fallen asleep for the night, when I hear this crackling sound.  After a couple of "did you hear that" whispers to the husband, and him responding that he heard nothing...I hear it again.  This time, I sat straight up in bed, turned on the light and subsequently let out an ear peeling scream that jarred the husband out of his sleep and into battle mode.  I demanded he chase this little rodent beast and watched in horror as the little offender made haste to scurry out of our bedroom and into the main living space.  The husband attempted to chase it down, but lost it somewhere else in the house.  I would not rest that night until he had barricaded us in safely with towels at each doorway.  I made a frantic call to our builder, and he reminded me that we lived in the country.  He also reminded me that when they were constructing the home, it meant doors were pretty much open at some point and that it is typical for country mice to move in before the new owners.  Ugh.  The nerve!

Actually, both situations are something I can laugh about now, but at the time I was shaken out of my dream world that this new home was a perfect place....turn key, and yet after we moved in we found out it was not quite perfect.  There were flaws.  There were issues, and it would require work.  

It is the same with relationships.  When we meet someone, the work may not seem so obvious starting out.  The individual may appear to be "turn key" in every respect, but as we enter into a relationship and start to know one another...well those little issues will start to pop up and require work on both parts.  

How wonderful it is though with our relationship with God.  He already knows us.  He knows our before, our now and our later.  Unlike the things of this world we try to label as "perfect" or "turn key." Later we are disappointed because we find they are anything but "perfect" or "turn key."  His plan for us is perfect created in His faithfulness!  We will have choices to make, and they can either include God or not.  He doesn't force his perfect plan onto us, because He is a gentleman.  If only we would make decisions with 'big picture' in our hearts and an understanding that God's love for us is perfect and He wants what is best for us. We sometimes limit our view by what is in front of us....our now moment...instead of realizing that if we would follow God and seek His will in all things...and even though it may feel like the harder road when that over there appears to be turn key...God has our best interests at heart.  It was created in His faithfulness to us.  We always should be striving for perfection.  To do better.  To get it right.  To work towards being "turn key."  We may never fully understand the path God leads us on, but one day all will become clear to us and I know...yes I know, in my heart that we will rejoice with Him and all His angels because of what He has done for us.